Counselling can be a powerful way to understand yourself and move towards a more authentic, fulfilling life. Research shows that people often get more from sessions when they have a sense of how counselling works and what their role is.¹
This page brings together the questions I’m most often asked, along with information clients found it helpful to know in advance of starting sessions.
How I work as a Counsellor
What is Humanistic counselling?
Humanistic counselling is based on the belief that people grow and change when they feel heard, understood and accepted. Given the right conditions, we all have the capacity to find our way through whatever life brings. In our sessions, those “right conditions” are created through a working relationship that feels safe enough for you to explore your experiences honestly.
Some of the beliefs that guide my work include:
- Everyone matters and deserves respect.
- You are a whole person - your strengths, values and hopes matter as much as your struggles.
- People naturally move towards wellbeing in a supportive environment.
- Distress arises when we become cut off from our own sense of direction, often because we are trying to meet others’ expectations.
- My role is to help you feel autonomy, resilience and hope.
Will you diagnose me, advise me or tell me what to do?
No. In the UK, only certain medical professionals – usually psychiatrists – can formally diagnose mental health conditions. My role is to focus on your experience. If you already have a diagnosis, or are considering seeking one, we can talk about what that means for you.
I don’t tell you what to do because that would get in the way of you discovering what feels right for you. Instead, I:
- Help you explore your options
- Reflect patterns I notice
- Ask questions to deepen your understanding
Will you plan what happens in each session?
No. Humanistic counselling is client-led. You decide what feels important to talk about each week. My role is to:
- Listen closely
- Reflect what I hear
- Stay alongside you
Planning sessions in advance would impose my agenda on your process. Your experience is the most important guide we have.
Your role as a client
How will I know if counselling is right for me?
The best way to know is to try a session. Counselling may be helpful if you:
- Want time and space to understand yourself
- Are processing a painful experience
- Are facing a difficult decision
- Feel stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected
- Want to learn to express your needs
You don’t need to be in crisis. In fact, if you feel unsafe or in danger, crisis support is more appropriate because it offers rapid, practical help. Counselling is a slower, reflective process that works best when you have enough stability to explore at your own pace.
You don’t need:
- A diagnosis
- A clear goal
- To know where and how to start
- Confidence
What helps most is curiosity about yourself, a willingness to be honest with yourself and openness to experiencing your emotions.
What is my role as a client?
You set the direction. Each session, you choose what feels important to talk about. There are no right or wrong topics.
Your role includes:
- Deciding what we discuss
- Showing up with curiosity
- Allowing yourself to explore at your own pace
- Letting me know what feels helpful or unhelpful
You don’t need to perform or impress. Talk as you normally talk – counselling is not formal and you don’t need to use counselling language. It’s also completely fine to talk about the lighter parts of life as well as the difficult ones.
One of the most valuable things you can bring is the ability to tolerate uncertainty – not rushing for answers before you’ve really explored something.
How can I look after myself during counselling?
- Take things at your pace – you don’t have to talk about everything at once.
- Tell me how you’re doing, especially if you feel overwhelmed.
- Build in some space before and after sessions (even if only a few minutes).
- Keep doing other things that sustain you – rest, movement, creativity, connection, time in nature.
The professional counselling relationship
How is counselling different from talking to a family member or friend?
Both can feel supportive, but counselling offers something distinct:
- I’m trained in active, therapeutic, listening.
- Our work is confidential, with clear agreements about privacy and boundaries.
- I won’t give you advice or tell you what to do.
- I won’t judge you or steer you towards my own values.
- The relationship is one-way deliberately – you don’t have to look after me, protect me or worry about burdening me.
- The focus is entirely on you.
- I have no agenda about whether you change or stay the same – only that your choices feel like yours.
- You can say the unsayable without worrying about the impact on our relationship.
What contact do we have between/after sessions?
Between sessions, our contact is limited to cancelling or rescheduling appointments.
As already mentioned, counselling is not a crisis service, and keeping the two forms of support separate protects the quality of both. For this reason, I don’t offer text, phone or online support between sessions and if you ever feel you are in crisis you should contact an appropriate crisis service.
When our counselling work ends, the professional relationship also ends. We don’t move into ongoing personal contact – this boundary protects the integrity of the work we have done together.
If I’m interested in working with you, what are my next steps?
I see clients in-person in Worthing and Littlehampton. I also provide telephone and online counselling for those further afield or for whom remote counselling is a better option.
If you’re curious about whether counselling might be right for you, you're welcome to get in touch for a 15-minute intro call. There’s no commitment in making an initial enquiry – just a conversation. I’d be glad to hear from you.
Sources:
1. Cooper, M. (2008). Essential Research Findings in Counselling and Psychotherapy: The facts are friendly. Sage.
Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash
